


As If

by FireflysLove



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Steve Rogers is Not a Nazi, reality fix it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6972448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireflysLove/pseuds/FireflysLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>RE: Marvel's stupidity and Nazi Steve Rogers.</p>
<p>Steve Rogers wouldn't stand for this.</p>
<p>(With a small side of #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend)</p>
            </blockquote>





	As If

**Author's Note:**

> This is only about half of what I'm feeling rn, but it's good enough, and ffs, I'm going to leave it here before I fucking kill someone over this. AND I'M NOT EVEN INTO THE FUCKING COMICS!!!!!!!!!

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

The shout interrupts Steve as he’s cutting carrots for a stew and he nearly slices his thumb off.

“Buck?” he asks, hurrying to the living room, knife still in hand.

A very angry Bucky shoves a piece of paper in Steve’s face, and Steve takes it from him, looking first at Bucky’s face, contorted in an expression Steve’s not sure he’s ever seen before.

“What is it?” Steve asks.

Bucky says nothing, only points with a shaking hand at the paper, a comic book, in Steve’s hands.

Steve’s well aware of the comic books that have been continuously written since soon after he became Captain America. He’s read a few of them himself, but he generally prefers the ones about fictional characters and not his friends. The costume choices alone make him cringe. But Bucky’s taken a recent interest in them, especially since finding out that he became Captain America for a while.

Steve scans the page, and as he does, his stomach rises in his throat until he feels like he’s going to throw up. A few seconds later, he’s not entirely sure how, but the comic finds itself pinned to the wall by a quivering kitchen knife.

“ _What the fuck?_ ” Steve hisses.

“A fucking _NAZI?_ ” Bucky asks incredulously. “Do they have _any idea_?”

“What Hydra’s done to my life? Your life? The world?” Steve asks. “No fucking idea, apparently.”

Bucky’s metal hand whirs as he clenches it, the motors complaining about the pressure.

“How many copies are in the Complex?” Steve asks the ceiling.

The AI promptly responds, “Seven, Captain.”

“Tell their owners to bring them to the common room immediately,” Steve says. To Bucky, “Have any knives you’ve been dying to try out?”

Ten minutes later, there’s a stack of comics on the coffee table and a very sinister looking Bucky Barnes staring at them across the blade of a knife.

“Has anyone read this yet?” Steve asks.

Everyone but Nat shakes their heads.

“Good,” Steve says. “Because I am _not a fucking Nazi_.”

This raises a few eyebrows, and Bucky silently offers everyone the offending panels. A clamor rises, the loudest from Wanda.

“ _Nazis_ ,” she says. “How _dare_ they? Do they not know what Hydra has done to the world?”

“I have no fucking idea,” Steve says. “But I’m not going to let this go.”

“Good,” Natasha says.

They have marshmallows roasted over the fire of the comic books after Bucky is done systematically shredding them

 

It’s easy for Captain America to get a slot on Good Morning America, and Steve finds himself in a suit, sitting opposite the writer of the comics, two days later. He has had a glare leveled at the man all morning, and the man is now white as a sheet and visibly sweating.

The cameras pan up to their faces, and the overly cheery host begins to speak, “Captain America: Nazi or Bisexual? There’s been a lot of press about Steve Rogers lately, with the recent publication of a controversial comic run and the hashtag #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend blowing up on Twitter. Here today we have the man himself! Steve, what do you have to say about this?”

“Frankly, I’m appalled by the idea of this comic publication,” Steve says. “The comic company clearly has no idea what they are talking about.”

“Strong words!” the host says. She turns to the writer, “What do you have to say about that?”

“The fictional Steve Rogers is, of course, based on the real man, but we never claimed they were the same person,” he says. “The direction we have chosen to take brings a compelling, interesting angle to a character many have claimed is stagnant.”

Steve takes a bracing breath, and the host looks back to him. “Do you have any idea what Hydra has done to this world?” Steve asks.

“They created weapons with the Nazis in WWII, and recently were uncovered as being within SHIELD,” the man says.

“They would have killed two million people, and that’s just to start with,” Steve says. “More to the point, _they’re fucking Nazis_. Do you _really_ think that Captain America, whether real or fictional would be a _Nazi_?”

“Mr. Rogers, please watch your language,” the host says. Steve turns his glare on her.

“Hydra has uprooted and tried to destroy my life at _least_ three times,” Steve says. “I’ll be damned if I’ll let any version of me be sullied by the mere notion of him being a _Hydra agent_.” He spits these last words. “And as for your other point? The hashtag?”

The host looks visibly terrified at the mention of this.

Steve looks directly into the camera. “No need, I’ve had one since 1936.”

With that, he stands up, pulls the mic pack off, and confidently strides off the set.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://fireflyslove.tumblr.com)


End file.
